Happy Mother’s Day

May 6th, 2010
Hey Mom,

I can’t really believe it’s been 5 years since you’ve gone.  That you passed away on the evening of Mother’s Day and I didn’t call you has pretty well haunted me since.  I always thought Mother’s Day was bullshit but at least a call was in order, just because.  Being basically an atheist also makes it hypocritical to write this but if you are up there I hope you know how sorry I am that I didn’t make that call.  I want badly for you to be in a place happier than you ended here. When L heard you were gone she gave me two roses which I threw in the river with the intention that at least one of them might find it’s way to the ocean.  I don’t suppose you know if one did?  It was meant to symbolize, I suppose, the chances one has of making it through life without breaking down on the way or getting snagged up in some eddy.  It was a pretty hopeless and romantic gesture but it meant a lot to me anyway and as far as I am concerned one must have made it.

The main reason I am writing is I wanted you to know how things turned out between Phyllis and I. Not that I am foolish enough to be conclusive but I know you were a bit anxious in general about it. I am glad you, at least, got to meet her.   Everyone told us that the bulk of all that new relationship euphoria would wear off in 6 months or so.  Other than a slight scaling back in certain areas(I am nearly fifty now after all)I can assure you that the reality of being together has not tainted the experience.  Nor has it been a case of “different face same problems” as many warned behind wagging fingers.  Oh there’s problems all right, but they aren’t the same as before.  It is just refreshing to be with someone who doesn’t appear to consider the whole thing a necessary inconvenience.  This might sound like setting one’s standards a little low but, based on what became an acute interest in following the relationships of others after mine imploded, I would say it is a substantial if not miraculous achievement.  If this is mediocrity I am all for it.  We both present the odd challenge.   Against both our better judgment we married just about a year ago.  It was a small affair(the wedding that is)which took place in a little park convenient to my best man/witness’ work place.  He immediately got called away to some other task and so a coworker was sent in.  I ended up with a best woman which I was all for.  The guests numbered zero so the catering costs were kept to a minimum.   “Why did you even bother?” was a frequently posed question to which I would clear up with a something like, “Never ride two camels until the man whose footsteps you walk in are yours.”  This held them off for awhile anyway.    Sure, I suppose, it was ridiculous but, in a way which I can’t really explain (well I could but it would take for ever and you’d be bored), it seemed important and I am glad we did it.  By way of a Honeymoon, we drove to the ocean and took it in.  We stayed in old quaint places and ate more than we needed.  Unfortunately we were called back two days earlier than anticipated as Lloyd, who was  minding the hotel suddenly called with the news that he had to work at his other job.  I guess it’s understandable.  We had only given him about three months notice as to the time we hoped to have him there.

As for the kids…….Well, it’s not the “Brady Bunch.”  I hope whatever scars we have inflicted on them by not following the advice of those sage and intact souls who suggest you don’t just hop into another relationship, particularly if there are kids involved, will not run too deep.  Phyllis’ little Constance, who’s not so little anymore, seems to be moving further and further away from taking much notice of the “broken” home.  She is to be 13 quite shortly.  I would say her behavior is entering the realm where any misery she wants to scrape up is self-induced.  I word it this way because any inference that hormones might contribute to human behavior is grounds for castration in Phyllis’ mind.  My little Cindy (6 feet tall) has managed to move right out of the picture taking up residence 100 miles away doing farm work in exchange for room and board.  She is meant to graduate this year.  I feel as if her main goal is to be thirty-five.  When I look back on things I suppose that was mine at that age.  I guess that’s why it’s difficult to watch.  Ah well, “the proof is in the pudding,” which I just learned is incorrect usage.  It should be, “The proof of the pudding is in the eating.”  Neither kid has a serious addiction to crystal meth (that’s a bad drug mom), both work hard in school and, despite it all, the two  manage a degree of respect for their dreaded “step parents.”  As a convenient form of self justification I take the stance that it’s possible to mess your kids up from a variety of marital statuses.  Who’s to say I would have done a better job had I remained with L?  I wasn’t setting any great examples then either.

Other than that the only other real change is that I have fully quit construction as my principal means of income to join Phyllis with Barksville.  Well, I suppose, I should add that I am no longer living in Quoyle’s 24′ travel trailer and Phyllis and I now jointly own a 67′ non traveling trailer.  I know I know, but I can assure you fame and fortune or, at least, a sustainable income are just peeking around the corner waiting to strike….like a panther.
I miss you mom.  We all do.  Phyllis does the crosswords with me now.  I am glad that I still forget and  pick up the phone to call you to tell you of some little tidbit that would have interested you.   I am sorry for the times I didn’t when you were here.  I know it would have meant a lot to you.  I should go now.  There is a dog the size of a small pony failing to take the hint that it’s amorous advances are not currently desired.  I should stop it or he shall flatten the poor girl like a pancake.

Be safe and content,  Happy Mothers Day

Love Kyle

One Response to “Happy Mother’s Day”

  1. J

    Great post! -J.

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