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Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category

Fence Omen

August 24th, 2010

Dear Olive, Phyllis, in a determined state, decided one day that it would be a good idea to buy a bunch of tennis balls and stick them in the fence along the highway. Not just randomly stick them in the fence but to make words out of them like those signs whose letters are made […]

In Absence of Your Presence

July 23rd, 2010

Dear Phyllis, I am writing to lay to rest any fears you you may harbor about things sliding around here in your absence. I know you are of the mind that men, if left unchecked, would shortly find themselves ignoring even the most rudimentary of domestic duties opting, instead, to float about in a pond […]

The Dog Days of Summer

July 16th, 2010

Dear J, As the heat wave sets in it’s time to reflect. It is now just over four years since we took possession of the estate like setting of Barksville. About the same amount of time has passed since Phyllis, in tears, declared, “I can’t live in that shit hole of a trailer.” She had […]

 Dear Clare, It is just moments before midnight and we have just finished watching an episode of Midsomer Murders. Have you seen that show? If not, I recommend it. It follows detective Thomas Barnaby in the sleepy county of Midsomer somewhere in England where the murder rate is probably the highest in the world […]

Recovery

June 17th, 2010

Olive, Things remain slow at Barksville though there have been some indications of a slight upturn. We have but 6 or 7 here today which is going to do very little to cut that visa bill off at the knees as is our summer slogan. There is the requisite Yellow Lab who just arrived named […]

Stab me Vitals

June 1st, 2010

Hey J, The good news is, I will spare you from news about Barksville today.  The bad news is, I won’t spare you from me talking about me. I had a panic attack once. At least I think it was a panic attack. It was about 15 years ago when my kid was somewhere around […]

When choosing a dog…

May 26th, 2010

Dear Olive, This came with one of the guests the other day-a largish yellow Lab. Rules for Alder, 1.Don’t touch him-ever!  He gets anxious and will then bite.  Use your body (legs/feet) to move manipulate him if you have to. 2.He is food/toy possessive and will bite a person, and snap (not bite) other dogs. […]

Happy Mother’s Day

May 6th, 2010

Hey Mom, I can’t really believe it’s been 5 years since you’ve gone.  That you passed away on the evening of Mother’s Day and I didn’t call you has pretty well haunted me since.  I always thought Mother’s Day was bullshit but at least a call was in order, just because.  Being basically an atheist […]

Dear Clare, I think it’s best that I first tell you about the chicken I made last night. I mean cooked as one doesn’t really make a chicken does he?  Anyway I have been on this mission to come up with a moist product and basically so far the technique has been to under cook […]

Deflated Barebecue Hopes

April 6th, 2010

Dear RJ For starters, I regret to point out that I have found it necessary to utilize the magnification feature of this OpenOffice program in order to enlarge the printing sufficiently to keep from squinting. This is unsettling and might be another cruel sign of old age creeping it’s way towards me. For now I […]

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